So V had a thing with a girl when he was on the other side of the world. Well, not really but sort of....but it doesn’t matter because I am not really allowed to talk about it which is highly infuriating because he provides me with more material than I know what to do with.
Pause. Before I continue I feel the need to qualify that ‘with.’ That is one of my largest grammatical pet peeves. It is something I would, and have, written a guy off for, and yet I find myself to be ending sentences with a preposition more frequently than I would like to admit. And for that I apologize. I realize my spelling is less than stellar (Albert Einstein couldn’t spell either so I consider it a sign of intelligence) and that I tend to play fast and loose with the rules of punctuation, but for my misuse of grammar and for committing atrocities as heinous as ending sentences with ‘with’, I am deeply sorry. I will try to do better - though I can’t promise anything when wine and writing are combined.
I was sizing up his photos on Facebook while chatting with him online. “Is that her?” I typed.
“I KNEW IT!”
“How did you know?” he was laughing at this - I know because of both the “haha” following his question and the emoticon.
“I am a girl - I just know these things. I spotted her from a mile away.”
“Well don’t go making comments about it and all. She might get mad.”
“Do you seriously think I would do that?! I am offended.”
“Of course not.
“Uh yeah - clearly you are working on us getting into a fight.”
V found this to be funny. Me, not so much.
“Do you hear “ha ha” comin’ from this side of the computer? You just got your name on the board.”
“Sorry it was me typing before thinking. Forgive me?”
“Nope...I am going to put for at least 10 minutes. Pout. Poute. Fuck me, I can’t spell!” (See, I am aware of my ineptitude.)
“Bottom lip protruding and all? Pout was correct.”
“Yes. That. Still you need to think better of me.”
“You know I do. Would it help you to know that you're the only person besides my momma that I bought something pretty for?”
“Yes. Indeed. That did help. All is forgiven. I am a slut for gifts.”
“I'll keep that in mind for future fights.” he wrote.
“Seriously, how do you think those other d-bags lasted do long.” This statement required lots of emoticons and a HAHAHAHAHHAHAH. “I make myself laugh!”
“Ouch. You just put me next to d-bags. I don’t like that place.”
“Don’t worry. You are just adjacent, not in the exact same local.”