Disclaimer: Not for the eyes of parental like figures, to whom I will always be twelve.

Let’s take a moment, shall we, to discuss the booty call.

There are different schools of thought on such a communication, specifically at what hour a phone call or text message is no longer an innocent casual call and officially a deliberate solicitation of getting some.

Now, I have a very strict policy on the booty call. If you are contacting me after 10 o’clock on a weekend when we have not made any plans to get together, please, please do not pretend to be attempting anything other than the obvious and for that matter, if I am contacting you at that hour, just assume I am extending you the same courtesy.

And let’s say you are one of those ballsy fellows who attempts this maneuver two nights in a row, please do not be offended when I don’t answer. It’s just that these days sleep ranks a lot higher on the priority list than you and even if you do look cute in boxer shorts, I am not sharing my side of the bed.

The end.