It wasn't until I got off the phone with her that I realized that I had never been interviewed about my work before and that I had absolutely no idea what I said.
I rambled though, I know that much.
Ask a girl who has been dumped in the shower, cyber stalked by mad men and propositioned by a pachoulli wearing Jermey Piven and she is gonna give you some stories.
My only worry is about the one's that weren't told.
Sarah asked me why I moved to KC and I tried to give her the short version without too much skirting of the issue. She also asked me if I ever worry about people reading my blog.
Now I wonder if I lied when I told her no.
I don't care, not really, that is kind of the point. But if there is one person I would rather not read this it might be him- you know, the impetus for midwest relocation.
As strange as it sounds I worry that it would come across as mean. Shit didn't work out - C'est la vie. I can actually say that without it being bullshit. But I have got to say, if someone started a blog called The Chick Fast after we broke up, I would be seriously wounded.
I would freak out, wondering, "Was I so awful, that I caused him to swear off my entire sex?!?"
Obviously, if he read it he would see that that isn't really the point, but still.
I realize that it is completely narcassistic and self-involved to be having such thoughts - I mean, I doubt that I cross the pages of his mind, let alone his computer screen with any real regularity, but when Sarah asked me about how I ended up here and how it all turned out (duh) I couldn't help feeling slightly apprehensive that he might read my response on the pages of some magazine and that it might come across as bitter, or overwrought or even, well, considered.
The beauty of letting go is that all that stuff goes with it. Unless of course a reporter asks you about it and then you have to dive it due thought in order to formulate a response that sounds neither flippant or like new age crap.
I am a little scared, and I hope I don't come off as a completely self-involved shrew.
1 comment:
I know I wouldn't want you finding my blog. That's for sure.
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