Monday, November 2, 2009

I miss the pain



It was taken during my sojourn to Russia, when there wasn't a day that went by when my body wasn't bruised, broken and aching, and the knees in question belong to my classmates Steph and Jenna and me.

This picture doesn't do it justice but I remember us being in enough pain to make it worth the photo op.

I miss that pain. I would give anything to spend my days running up walls again. The human body was not built to sit behind a desk for nine hours a day and no matter how many times I workout, the two hour sessions do not make up for a lifestyle built on activity.

I have been boxing. It is intense and considering I did little this summer but happy hour and brunch, I am not in the fighting condition I once was.

Every day we are paired up with someone and recently I have been working with Erin, a spunky little thing in her early twenties. She reminds me of Steph and Jenna back then and her youth and enthusiasm are enough to spur me on through the most exhausting rounds.

One night we were jumping rope for what felt far longer than it should have and I mentioned yet again that I was tired. Well, not mentioned, whined.

"You say you are tired a lot." Erin scolded.

I knew she was right. I didn't even try to get defensive. I have succumbed to the secretary spread and my sedentary lifestyle has got the better of me.

"I don't even let myself think I am tired," she continued. "Otherwise, I am completely worthless."

Erin continued dragging me around the gym and I pushed forward, slowly remembering the love of the pain. I became cognizant of my minds ability to push past the limits of my bodies physical exhaustion and after a while I even began to enjoy it.

It might not have been the pain of the Russian ballet Nazi that still haunts my dreams but it was enough for today, enough to get me through life at my computer just a little bit longer.



1 comment:

Shicho said...

there are few things as satisfying as ending a day physically spent; you breathe better, sleep deeper and wake cleaner. your mind clicks crisply along, senses attenuated for environmental or biochemical changes – reactions times are off the scale even if you weren’t blessed with a whole lot of slow-twitch muscle.

lovely.

sadly we’re several generations past being able to live that way.