Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I like Meagan

I have a newish friend, Meagan and I like her a lot. So much so that I am actually using her real name. This is not to say that I don't love all of my other friends that I choose to cloak in anonymity. It is just that they have all given me such great material and while I find it perfectly hilarious to post online, their future/potential boss, significant other or in-laws might not be as amused.

In fact, in the future should the aforementioned Meagan choose to do something blatantly idiotic, I will make sure to describe her as a five foot brunette with a squeaky high pitched voice - clearly nothing could be further from the truth.

But as I was saying, I like my newish friend. I like that she outwardly embodies a confidence in all of the insecurities that I try to bury deep within my psyche.

Like when we did yoga on the lawn at the Nelson last weekend. Meagan joked that she was going to beat me - she is seriously competitive and while she wasn't being serious in this particular situation, she has no problem that being part of her shtick.

(I usually just think self-involved, competitive thoughts silently to myself while grunting in downward dog, hoping to do as 'good' as the other women in the class while chiding myself for bringing ego into my zen place.)

See - baggage. We all have baggage and as I get older I have grown comfortable admitting certain aspects of my baggage. Almost a sense of pride - not because I have some particular deficiency but because I recognize it and am working on it. (You know, like my tendancy to pat myself on the back!)

But then I meet someone like Meagan and she is so different than me and I love that. I love that I can look at her strengths and my weaknesses and rather than making it a competition see an opportunity to grow from having this new person in my life.

I know that sometimes I get a little too American Beauty but these moments of self-discovery feel like what this time in life is supposed to be, not rushing to the next phase, but marinating in each new discovery so that when it is time to make life less about 'me' and more about 'us' it can be done with a richness, a debth of self-understanding and a willingness to share.

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