Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Am I a dude?

So I was sitting with cute boy discussing dating rituals in Kansas City, mainly how there is no place worse in the world to try to date, this is coming from a girl who used to live in LA – a city where most guys were prettier than me, used more product and had waists the size of my left thigh.

“Where are all the girls who just want to have fun?” he complained. “They are all looking to get married and have babies, like tomorrow.”

It is not like I have any answers. I am relationship-challenged. I am certainly not looking to get married or have babies anytime in the next say decade but I am also not a “just have fun” kind of girl, at least not in the sense that he was talking about.

That’s one of the things that sucks about being a girl. There are very few women who I know who can have the type of emotionally detached relationship that men might classify as “just having fun.” I am not trying to down-talk my gender our stereotype us as a whole. It is just hard, for me anyway. If I am not emotionally invested in you, than why bother.

Unless of course you are smokin’ hot, promise not to speak and can get the hell out before I wake up – oh and promise never to call or run into me in public. That just makes it awkward.

Still as much as my girlfriends give me crap for being a Samantha, and having the balls and well, tactlessness to say what most people are thinking, even I have standards.

Relationships are just so much work, though and I got what my new friend was talking about.

“I am not looking to do a relationship right now,” he said “and I really don’t want to deal with break-ups.”

“I don’t break-up with people.” I quipped. “I just get all passive-aggressive and act like a raging psycho until they break-up with me.”

“Me too!” he practically shouted over the crowd. “I get all worthless, until they don’t know why they are with me and then they are forced to call it off.”

“Works everyti--” I was considering throwing him a high five when I realized that we weren’t having this conversation alone.

“You guys are terrible!” The young woman hovering behind us hissed. I don’t know her very well but she seems really cool. Unfortunately, I don’t think she appreciated our stance mutual exit plan. Maybe she has been on the receiving end of this strategy a few too many times. Come to think of it, so have I. “You guys should just be honest.”

My co-conspirator and I shared a few sideways glances before the corners of his moth started to pull up in a dastardly grin that I was sure got him off the hook with every weak-kneed girl who ever cornered him in such a situation. “Yeah, I know but that is so much work.”

I concurred.

But then again, this guy really was smokin’ hot. I could do fun…maybe.

I think I might just be a dude.

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