Saturday, September 26, 2009

Blind Date Follow-Up

Okay so postdate, as is customary, I sent my girlfriends the fully unedited details of my experience. Their response was much funnier than anything I could have ever written. Shortstack offered an entirely new perspective. See below:

I finally get a chance to check my emails today and what do I find?!? 37,000 replies from my lovely ladies. Seriously, this guy sounds dreamy!! What kind of girl doesn't want the random dude she just suffered with for 3 hours to show up unannounced at her doorstep? Sure, you didn't give him your address or even your last name, but his persistance is endearing. I did want to let you know that I've filed a police report and have BJ's information on hand in case you go missing. Don't worry Lyndsey, I have your back.

We need to have a little discussion about abandoning your lady friend's with creepy Craiglist-killer type stalkers. Though I'm sure the stories today would not be quite as entertaining if you had stayed by her side all night, it troubles me that you up and left in the name of a [boy crush]. I'm guessing I'm more troubled because I'm jealous, not worried for Lyndsey (Mrs. City-gal can handle herself)...

Overall, the only thing that I can think of to make the evening a bigger success would be flowers sent to your work, drunken phone calls tonight or if he had taken the opportunity at the end of the night to shove his tongue down your throat and slobber on your upper lip. Ah, the love that could have been if only he had taken the leap.

To be quite honest, I feel for this young BJ. If I know his kind as well as I think I do, I'm quite certain that he is Facebook stalking you at this very moment and showing his co-workers his new "girlfriend", the hot Russian. How do I know his type so well? Not only have I had the delightful experience of fending such men off, but I have now become one of them. I was embarassingly giddy as I showed my coworkers the Facebook page of MY new "boyfriend” Lyndsey is supposed to set me up with. Have I spoken to him? Only in my dreams. Has he even seen a picture of me? Highly unlikely. However, our children's names have been picked out and the picket fence surrounding our future home is bright white. This foxy young man is mine and doesn't even know it. So let's all just give BJ a break because it is easy to see why he would swoon and drool over a classy lady like Lyndsey...and because if we don't give him a break, we will be inadvertently insulting yours truly.

Hopefully, sometime in the near future you will all be able to see things from BJ's perspective as I gush about the "fabulous" blind date I had with my new delicious boy and how I contacted him no fewer than 4 times before midnight after he dropped me off at my house. So Lyndsey, please do us all a favor and set this girl up so you can be entertained by the stories of my blind dates.

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