Thursday, September 10, 2009

Oh I think I am in trouble

I have mentioned before that I don't lie. This is because I suck at it, not because I don't want to. There are plenty of times when I want to tell a big fat one straight-faced, particularly in moments like this one, when I know I am getting busted for another idiotic stunt and my stomach starts to drop into my toes and my brain starts to have flashbacks to the days of Sister Jackie calling me into her office and making me look up the word BITCH in the dictionary. I had quite a mouth on me even before I actually knew what those words meant.

Tonight my big mouth is getting me in trouble again. I regularly forget that people actually read the crap I write. Why I am not sure. They must have as much excitement in their lives as I do. And I often fail to realize that these people reading my blogs are often the same people I am writing about.

Case in Point - Mr. Sweet Thang.

I haven't heard from this kid since when? And suddenly he sends me a text that says, "Blog about me."

Oh F-er.

I am hit with this sudden wave of terror - the same wave that hits me every time my boss say 'Can you come in here?' or my parents call and say 'We need to talk.'

I am a fatalist and I have a very low OH SHIT factor. I immediately panic that someone is pissed off at me.

It doesn't matter how old you get, how much you mature, there is always going to be an insecure part of you that craves acceptance. In my case it is the rolly-polly uber-geek of my younger years ready to jeer me with an, "I told you so."

So I consider my options. I could lie but I am not really sure how since I quoted him verbatim on the internet. And thanks to the miracle of modern technology I really had no way to gauge if he was actually pissed or kind of amused. He is the kind of guy that could go both ways.

I decided to try the coy approach. I am almost six feet tall - coy isn't something I can usually pull off but I figured I would give it a shot.

So I texted, "Yep. Come on! It was funny... and since when do you read my blog?"

And instead of an irate message I got, "I don't. I am telling you to blog about me. Make sure to mention my handsomeness."

"That is funny because I just did. And now I am going to have to blog about this."

"Did you mention my handsomeness?"

"No, but don't worry, I will now."

"Thank you. I want the world to know."

"I am on it."

"Thank you"

And Thank YOU Mr. Sweet Thang! I got more fodder and the court can rest.

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